It is a mystery why we fall in LOVE. It is a mystery why it comes. It is a mystery why some love grow and some love fail. You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you can never do anything that would take the life out of this experience. Just as life itself is more than the sum of interest, attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just life itself, is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways. Sometimes, hopefully, at least once in your life – the gift of love will come to you in full bloom, and you will take hold of it and celebrate it in all its inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we all share. More often, it will come back and take hold of you … celebrate for a brief moment then move on. When this happens to young people, they often try to grasp the love and hold it close to them, refusing to see that it is a gift that just as freely moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that was lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on. They want answer where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong with them that makes the person no longer love them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life together, their love will grow. They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery. You need to know this about love and accept it. You need to treat what it brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love did not just choose to rest in the other person’s heart. If you find someone else in love with you and you do not love the person, feel honored that love came and that you cannot return. Do not take advantage. Do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how you deal with yourself, and all our hearts feel the same pain and joy, even if our lives and ways are different. If you fall in love with other person and the person falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim or assess blame. Let go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it on time, but time itself will choose the moment. Remember, you do not choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it feels you to overflowing. Then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to the others whom you deem poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can. This is where so many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as something that flows to them rather than from them. Their first blush for new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love as a need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead becomes someone who needs love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift and that it can be made top grow only by giving it away. Remember this and keep it to you its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason with it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery. Be glad it came to live for a moment in your life. If you keep your heart open, it will come again . . .
Gemma